Kelley killed one of our pets. This was no accident. She is acting out her trauma over and over. We hope that someday, with time and healing, that cycle can be broken, but we also think it’s important not to present her with opportunities to cause harm.
Author Archives: justinegraceshafer
About the Author and About the Blog
It is not always easy to find the joy in a “Plan Z Life” that looks so very different from the life you dreamed of and worked so hard to create. This is a work in progress, a journey as opposed to a destination, and I hope that sharing my journey will help you on your own.
Our Melt-down Procedure
Kelley has what you may call tantrums, rages, melt-downs, fits, or outbursts. She is 5 now, but will still throw herself on the ground and kick and scream- sometimes for hours. When she starts one of these episodes, this is what we do.
Sleep Issues
Sleep hygiene is critical for kids from hard places, and it is crucial to limit what our kids have access to when they are night wandering, especially if they have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).
Foster Child-Proofing Your Home
We thought we were ready. Then two toddlers arrived, fresh out of… well, basically, a crack house. We were not nearly child-proofed enough! The caseworker often referred to 2-year-old Kelley as a “Feral Child.” The first time 3-year-old Gabi threatened to “Cut you up and set you on fire,” I definitely scoured the house again looking for anything sharp or flammable!
Therapeutic Music for the Plan Z Life
I am not a crier or “feelings” person by nature, but these songs so perfectly summarized what my heart was going through, that they became my anthems and a healing way to vent my pent-up emotions.
Love is Blind: Our Foster Parenting Story Before Adoption
We were in limbo, fostering our child for nearly 2 years. Things are not all sunshine and rainbows even now, but we are finally a family forever. And that is a great place to start.
Love Looks Different in our Home
When a horse whisperer works with a traumatized horse, the trainer will let the horse lead the interaction. I’m going to propose that they are on to something that applies to working with our traumatized children.
The Village and The Vineyard 